Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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