1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
