I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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