I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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