dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
is that a dick in a sweater?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize