either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize