We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
