didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
