Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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