Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
