I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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