shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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