scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize