i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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