What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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