Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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