you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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