it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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