I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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