She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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