Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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