I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
