is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
