I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
