there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
How external is "for external use only"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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