Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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