You're my little dorito
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.