I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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