Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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