There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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