I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
