I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
