I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
