A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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