is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
