is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
