She's JV to your varsity
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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