S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Randomize
