I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
