He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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