It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
