and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
