I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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