Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
