Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
