so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
