is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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