I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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