Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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