i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
