Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
