i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
