yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
