i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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