The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize