We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
