Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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