Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
