after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
