I accidentally had phone sex last night
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
