I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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