Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize