Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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