I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
