Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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