Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
